William Thirteen gets pampered at one of Berlin’s most unique spas…

Anyone who spends much time here soon realises that Berlin is the three-toed sloth in the zoo of European capitals. While the denizens of London and Paris race about their cities, pressing past each other like anxious antelope on a headlong rush to high-rent, fashionably-appointed dooms, Berliners are hard pressed to tear themselves away from that second Milchkaffee before happy hour—and then only to wander off to the nearest park bench where they’ll lazily admire the afternoon’s assortment of puffy clouds (or exhale a few of their own).

If there was an Olympic event held for competitive slacking, Berlin would definitely take the gold—if they could actually drag themselves to the podium. Seen in this light, Berlin’s saunas, steam baths and spas owe their year-round popularity less to the need to recover from the hectic pace of modern life and more to fact that they provide the perfect excuse to drink fizzy cocktails from a prone position.

And while competition is high, a clear favourite in the race to relax is the city’s legendary Liquidrom. While I enjoy a relaxing steam just as much as the next naked fellow, only recently did I finally arrange with my partner to visit the Liquidrom, which is located just behind the Tempodrom, one of Berlin’s favourite concert venues.

Designed by von Gerkan, Marg und Partner (GMP—who also count Berlin’s Tegel Airport and Hauptbahnhof to their credit) the Tempodrom/Liquidrom complex is easily identifiable by its iconic tentlike facade, a tribute to its origins as an impromptu performance space, a pair of tents erected on the ruins of Anhalter Bahnhof, one of Europe’s largest train stations before World War Two.

After parking our bicycles we were greeted cheerily at the reception desk and offered the opportunity to rent towels, robes and flip-flops, then prov…